The Monetization Trap

The past 2 weeks I’ve been up until 1am each night, working weekends, sometimes staring at walls just to “relax”; and all of this because I’ve gone all-in on my new business: a newsletter service offering.

Is this slowly leading to burnout? Perhaps.

But the question here is not as it relates to my health, but as it relates to my relationships with others.

Unfortunately, I have been a bit MIA with my relationships. And some people have noticed. The irony writing this issue is not lost on me.

So this week, I want to talk about it.

This week, let's explore the delicate balance between business and maintaining authentic relationships, why some aspects of relationship-building should remain sacred, how to navigate the authenticity paradox, and most importantly, how to keep your connections genuine when everything else is turning into a metric.

P.S. If I've been slow to respond to your messages lately, now you know why. But I'm working on finding that balance.

📌 If you happen to find this in your Spam, please place this email in your ‘Primary’ inbox [Gmail], ‘VIPs’ [Apple], or ‘Safe Sender’ list [Outlook]. Thank you for helping our deliverability!

🔖 BOOKMARKS THIS WEEK

• Can you be too authentic?

• The Authenticity Paradox — HBR Article

• The quickest way to destroy your love is to turn it into — Chris (YouTube)

🫱🏻‍🫲🏽 THE MONETIZATION TRAP: IS IT ALL TRANSACTIONAL?

Last night at 12:47 AM, I caught myself drafting an email to a longtime connection. Halfway through, I realized something that made me pause— I was writing it like a pitch deck.

Complete with value propositions. Bullet points. A clear call to action.

I deleted the whole thing. Scheduled a text (great new Apple feature).

And I reflect: as my newsletter service business grows, I'm faced with an interesting dilemma: the very thing that made me good at building genuine connections (that natural, unhurried, authentic approach) is now competing with the pressures of running a business.

You start seeing every interaction through a business lens, and suddenly, your genuine connections begin feeling like entries in a CRM.

Let's talk about this tension.

Authenticity—is it real?

Here's what nobody tells you about monetizing your passion: the very qualities that make you good at building that passion—for me, it's relationship building— might clash with business imperatives.

I'm learning this firsthand. As my newsletter service grows, I find myself categorizing relationships:

• Potential clients

• Strategic partners

• "Just" friends

The moment you start categorizing people in a CRM, you've already lost something precious.

But here's what I'm learning:

• Efficiency Kills Magic

  • The more I try to streamline relationship-building, the more it loses its spark. Those serendipitous moments, like a random GIF exchange that leads to a deep conversation, can't be templated.

• Time Isn't Always Money

  • Learning this first-hand with a client who has clearly gone overtime in their requests, due to their inability to take time to do the work on their own.

  • Rather than make a hard stop, the intention is always to value the relationship above all else. And use it as a lesson in your business to update your offer, not a time to get angry.

• The Magical Check-In

  • When I follow up because my CRM tells me to, the conversation feels forced. When I follow up because something genuinely reminded me of someone, magic happens.

  • People (mostly) want to be treated like a person. Not like a machine. So figure out ways to incorporate magical serendipity into the conversations. Here are a few ways to create that magic.

• Metrics can Mislead

  • Someone with 100,000+ "connections” on LinkedIn may only have a few people to rely on.

• The Trust Timeline

  • You can't rush trust. The moment you try to accelerate relationship-building for business purposes, people feel it.

What I'm discovering is that some aspects of connection need to remain pure. Untouched by metrics. Free from conversion goals.

This newsletter is my sacred space.

Here's how I'm navigating this in a world where transactions are necessary, but never the end-all:

• Have a clear offer

  • When your offer is clear, you don't need to cold sell. People overtly know. I've heard transparent pricing, like on a website, is an upward trend.

• Don't sell first

  • Wait for the offer to be sold to. If someone asks, "What do you do?” or if someone sends a connection request and they happen to meet your ICP. Mention your service, but don't oversell.

• Transparency

  • Ok, the opportunity may come to you through a LinkedIn connection request. And it's too good to be true. If you need to wear your business hat, say so. People appreciate clarity more than cleverly disguised pitches.

• The 70/30 Rule

  • 70% of relationship-building activities should have no direct monetary goal. This is an arbitrary number, but the goal is to not make it a minority. This keeps your network genuine and your intentions clear.

• Ask, “Where do My Leads Come From?”

  • This is a question that needs to be asked as we build a business. Honestly, you may not have the skills to hard sell effectively without losing the trust of your prospect. If that’s true, lean into what works already, perhaps it's referrals. If that, then you know how important relationships are to build a client base.

A Confession

I've been slacking on building Connections ✣.

Growth-skyrocketing is not in my game plan, because this is a business about building a powerful network. And powerful networks aren't built from a place of short-term gains.

So I've decided to allow this as a space to remain wonderfully, purposefully inefficient.

Because relationships are a lifelong endeavor.

What aspects of your professional relationships do you keep sacred? I'd love to hear your thoughts (and no, this isn't a lead-in to a pitch, promise :)

📣 PRESENTED BY 1440 MEDIA

Receive Honest News Today

Join over 4 million Americans who start their day with 1440 – your daily digest for unbiased, fact-centric news. From politics to sports, we cover it all by analyzing over 100 sources. Our concise, 5-minute read lands in your inbox each morning at no cost. Experience news without the noise; let 1440 help you make up your own mind. Sign up now and invite your friends and family to be part of the informed.

Sign up today!

🎶 OUR PLAYLIST, UPDATED WEEKLY

What did you think of this issue? How do you keep professional relationships non-transactional, or do you believe they all are?

Reply here and I’ll get back to you!

Thanks for reading!

Sincerely,

Lauren and the Connections team